12 Years Have Passed
by raspberrieschocolate
Summary: 12 years since they received the letter saying he wasn't coming back, but when Darry opens the door he is standing right in front of him.
1. Chapter 1

It was a warm sunday afternoon in the neighborhood, the faint sound of cars passing through the streets was heard, but nothing else. It wasn't as tough as it had been years ago, but it surely isn't a family neighborhood.

The Curtis house was filled with the sound of little giggles and smelled like clean clothes mixed with woman's perfume, making it sweet and comfortable to anyone that walked through the door.

Darry was sitting on the infamous recliner, reading the newspaper, something about the economy and things that made him wish he could've gone to college, so maybe he could understand better what was happening in the world and all these words he wished he'd known the meaning of. He sat there making the effort to understand everything he could. But these big words on the economy section just confused him more, but he wasn't going to give up at all.

Waiting for the day to be over, and continuing his reading Darry started to hear the sound of little feet stepping on the wooden floor and giggles became closer and closer. Michael, aged 4 loved stomping on things as much as could in his room, but not only in his room but anywhere he could.

Darry couldn't help but laugh at the way his little kid acted, reminding him of the years himself and Sodapop would complain about Ponyboy making noises around the house. They actually complained so much about it, that their mother scolded them for about an hour, telling them how it wasn't good to tell a little boy that making noise is annoying and makes people upset. But even with the tries of their mother of making the baby boy be loud again Ponyboy became the calm, shy and quiet boy he was known as, and never was again the full of energy little boy he used to be.

Oh how he missed his brothers.

He missed Sodapop, how he would just be happy most of the time and had this superpower that made him able to understand Ponyboy at all times, even when he was too stubborn to talk about anything. Or how he could calm their little brother's nightmares, and make everything a thousand times better in the eyes of Ponyboy just with his presence, thing Darry was never capable of.

If only he had been there 12 years ago on that horrid day that made everything they've struggled to hard to build, fall down in an instant with no way of making it up again.

_But if he had been home_, that day wouldn't make sense at all, and they'd be happy but most importantly,_ together. _

Darry felt a pang of guilt on his chest, he continued reading the newspaper, looking for something else to read, something to make his mind forget at least a few minutes about that day. He resumed his reading in a few seconds, forcing himself to concentrate on the words printed in the paper.

The sound of his wife's voice calling him to come and play with their son soon reached his ears, making him stand up and leave the newspaper in a little table next to the recliner and walked towards his little boy's room.

''Hey there little buddy!'' He said to the little boy sitting against the wall, with a racing car in his hand and a huge grin on his face. His reddish brown hair came in view, same with his green eyes looking at him.

He looked exactly like his baby brother, but had so much energy and happiness inside him that he reminded him of Sodapop, or the little Pony only he remembered, doubting Sodapop might've kept that memory of Ponyboy always laughing and running around the house.

''Daddy, d'ya want play with I and momma?'' Said the little toddler a smile still on his little face and green eyes shinning with so much love and happiness this little boy had inside of him while looking at his father, who on his eyes was capable of making everything alright and incapable of making mistakes.

''Of course I want to!'' Darry said and kneeled in from of his son, setting himself next to him and picking up one of the six colorful cars the little boy had.

His wife, Audrey, just stared at them with a smile on her face, happy with herself and her husband, but after a few minutes she stood up and walked to the kitchen to get dinner ready for them three.

Darry played with the cars for a little while, making car noises which only made his son laugh and tell him the correct way to do it, which resulted in a tickle fight and loud laughs from both his son and him.

''Darry! Could you get the door for me?'' His wife called from the kitchen, the sound of something cooking in the background ''I can't leave this''

''Sure, wait here little man'' Darry said to both his wife and son and walked to the door and through the small neighborhood.

He wondered who would knock the door at this time, normally Two- Bit would come over earlier, and he never knocked the door, so at this time and the knocking made Darry wonder who would probably be. He took his time, walking slow on purpose just to annoy her, making Audrey hurry him up and laugh.

But as soon as he opened the door, breath he didn't know he was holding left his mouth and he stared wide eyed at the man right in front of him.

He was just as tall as him, he had a strong figure and looked like a tough guy, but it wasn't until he saw his eyes that he realized who the man was.

''Uh, Hello Darry'' The man said and smiled a shy smile.

''Soda?'' He asked hopelessly, _What the fuck is going on. _He couldn't be _him_… his body was buried around 7 feet under for god's sake! He's next to his father, asleep in that ever lasting dream they all knew he wouldn't wake up.

Darry was instantly wrapped his brother in a hug and felt the sting of tears coming to his eyes, shock filling him. It had to be a dream, his brother was dead, he read the letter himself, he was the one that did the arrangements for his funeral.

But then the thought came to his mind. _He never had the guts to see the body, he couldn't make himself do that, and there was no way he'd let sixteen year old Ponyboy do that. It would break him even more than he is._

_If only he knew Ponyboy was already broken at that moment._

He didn't know what to say, so he just held him for a long time, waiting for him to say something, because he sure as hell not was going to be the first say something, what if it was all just a dream and as soon as he talked he'd wake up?

Nothing was heard in the house, or at least both of them thought so. They held each other in a tight embrace, both looking for the right words, but neither of them found them.

''Darry, where's Pone?'' Sodapop suddenly asked. Separating himself from the hug and take one look at his older brother, who looked way more older than he remembered, but still had that faint look of the 22 year old that he remembered.

Darry opened his mouth to say something, _he had to tell him,_ but was cut short by his wife calling his name.

''Darry honey, who was it?'' The blonde woman said from the kitchen, followed by her steps coming to the living room, where they stood.

Sodapop felt a smile growing on his face while looking at his brother ''You got married?'' He mouthed with excitement and happiness for his brother. Darry just shrugged with a faint smile.

The woman stopped short on her tracks and looked wide eyed at Sodapop, recognizing him immediately from the pictures hanging on the walls, old pictures from Darry's teenage years and childhood. Photos he's make up stories for his son, telling him he had two uncles that loved him very much and were on a long trip, but one day would come back and take him out for a day in the park. Michael asked each sunday if it was the day they'd come back.

Darry feels his heart break every time he tells him, _not yet but maybe next week_.

''Darry, wait... wasn't he.. what?'' Audrey said totally confused, breaking his thoughts. She looked pale and about to faint, Darry walked closer and reached out for her, but she shook her head and made him a look he knew very well.

_Introduce me_. It said

''Audrey, this is Sodapop'' Darry simply said, making a mental note to tell his wife he was just as confused as she was if not a bit more. ''Sodapop this is Audrey''

Sodapop held out his hand and waited for her to shook it, not sure if it would be okay to kiss her cheek. They shook hands and he smiled at her, smile that was returned from her lips.

''I should just go with Michael'' Audrey said ''Dinner's ready if you're both hungry...'' still confused she walked back to the little boy's room, knowing how Darry would like ot be alone with his brother.

''Who's Michael?'' Soda asked, recognizing his little brother's name, and hoped for some reason that it was _that Michael_ that was in that room.

''My son'' Darry replied, he tried to make answers as short as posible, not trusting himself if this was just a dream or reality, not wanting to wake up from this.

''How old is he?'' Sodapop asked again, curious to know about this little boy that was, apparently, his nephew.

''He's only four, but he's just always running around so fast that you might think he's older'' Darry answered with a smile forming on his face while talking about his son. He was a blessing in his life.

_I will not screw up this time when he becomes a teenager, I will not._

''He sure is!'' Sodapop laughed. ''Why Michael? Because of Pony?, He must be thrilled! Speaking of Pony, where is he?'' He bombarded with the questions, they came out of his mouth before he could stop them. But soon regretted them after the look on his brother's face.

Darry felt like a tons of bricks just fell on his stomach. He opened his mouth but words _just_ wouldn't come out.

''Darry, is he okay?'' Sodapop said as he noticed the look on Darry's face after mentioning Ponyboy, his mind couldn't help but think of the worst. That his little brother was dead and he wasn't going to see him again. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Thousands of scenarios filled his mind, posible things that might have caused Pony's death full filled his mind in a matter of seconds. _Was he drafted to Vietnam? Was he killed in a car accident? Did he drown? Did he commi-_ His thoughts were interrupted by his brother.

''He's... okay, I believe'' Darry chose his words being careful.

'What do you mean you believe? You don't know it for a fact?'' Sodapop started looking for answer, he couldn't help but feel this anger inside of him for not coming before. He was a coward for waiting all these years, a coward for not wanting to face his family, scared they might get mad at them, that they wouldn't accept him. Now that he was home he realized how stupid it was.

''Soda, let's go for a walk'' Darry said and walked to the door, Sodapop right behind him and desperately dying for answers about their little brother. ''We need to talk''


	2. Chapter 2

I apologize for the late update. My uncle just died of cancer on saturday and it's been a crazy last few days!

**oooooo**

Their shoes made a light sound when they hit against the pavement, both brothers walked in silence, but Darry could feel his brother frustration.

_Was this a dream?_ His brother couldn't be alive, he was dead. Buried next to his parents, asleep forever. And the only thing that kept him alive were his memories, the memories of his happy go lucky brother, who had a smile that could make the girls swoon and melt. But he _died,_ he read the letter, himself told the boys, he arranged the funeral, he paid the funeral he cried for his brother, cried for his other brother, cried for _himself._

But now here he was, walking alongside him with him asking about their little brother, with no explanation as to why he was here, to why there was a body under a grave with this name claiming to be him. A soft breeze made him shiver a bit, but it was his brother's voice that brought him back from his thoughts. ''Darry?''

''Huh?'' Darry replied

''I said, where is Ponyboy?'' Soda asked again, wanting an answer._ Why was Darry being so dramatic, if the boy was living somewhere else then so be it. He must be around what? 27? 28?. God, he didn't remember his baby brother's exact age._

''He's in New York'' Darry said and continued walking, normally. _Good he's alive and okay, Soda thought to himself._

Silence fell between the two brothers, both of them lost with their thoughts. Sodapop looked around him and couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched the houses that were around him, all those houses had seen him and his brother grow up, each of them on his own way. He could remember a lot of times when the 'gang' would just walk around and make a fools out of themselves, not caring about the neighbors in here, most of them knew they were no trouble to them, knowing how Mr. and Mrs. Curtis took care of them all.

_Oh Mom, are you disappointed on how I handled this? How I let the years pass? _Sodapop thought to himself.

Sodapop laughed ''Oh well, I guess the kid made it big'' He said ''Does he come here often?''

Darry cringed at this. How will he tell him he hasn't seen him for about ten years? He hasn't seen his brother ever since the kid turned eighteen. The last time he saw his baby brother he was still a child, a baby in his eyes.

_But not for the state._ He thought.

''Soda, please don't get mad of what I'm about to tell you, okay?'' He simply started. They were now a few blocks away from their house. _My house_, Darry to himself, _I'm the one living in it, not them._

''What? Why?'' Sodapop said confused. ''Now Darry, that isn't a good way to start a conversation'' Sodapop chuckled.

Darry also chuckled, but as soon as he realized what he was about to tell his brother his face became stern, serious. And Sodapop knew this wasn't good news, he was used to see that face on Darry when Ponyboy brought low grades home. _Which meant Ponyboy did something wrong, and on how suspicious Darry was being on Ponyboy, Sodapop could almost bet all his money, which was little, that his little brother did something very wrong on Darry's eyes._

''And please don't haunt yourself because the Doctors said it wasn't really your fault, Ponyboy probably struggled with this since our parents died, which was about four years before you-'' Darry coughed. '' died, so as I said, please, now this in the past and as long as I know Ponyboy is okay and living a normal life and being brilliant as he always was and-''

''Darry, shut up and tell me what you want to tell me, you're scaring me with your little rants'' Sodapop told him.

Darry let out a loud sigh and started. ''Well, as soon as you got drafted things became a little... weird, you could say. Ponyboy started going out more and staying out late, and his grades became lower and lower. I talked to the school and the principal told me it was acceptable because he knew how close you and him were so he let it slide but he made me promise I'd keep an eye on him and never let him out of my sight. Let's just say you weren't the only brother drafted and sure things are harder on the ones here with'' Darry took a deep breath '' a big lack of emotional security''

''What's emotional security?'' Sodapop asked. _And why would emotions have anything to do with my brother having problems. Sure, we all knew he was softer than the others, but why would it be a problem? It has always been like that, _he thought_, Ponyboy being different. Why would it be a problem?_

''Now I asked myself the self thing, and the principal explained to me that, basically is how someone sees themselves, and if someone lacks of emotional security then they'd feel vulnerable and will look for some.. security really, they feel rejected and often are troubled with guilt feelings'' Darry explained.

''Pone is not vulnerable? He's always been a bit...'' Sodapop looked for the right word to describe the way his brother was different to the rest of the gang. ''A bit softer I guess, but he's never once been weak!''

''I thought the same thing, and I promised the principal I'd keep an eye out for him and-and I did...'' Darry sighed. ''But you know, losing you really was a shock for all of us and we kind of...''

''Kind of what?'' asked Soda

''We left him out, really'' Continued Darry ''Told him he was too young to understand all of us and we left him out.. left him alone and he...'' Darry couldn't finish.

''He what Darry? What did Pone do?'' Soda asked getting anxious. It was all confusing for him.

''He hung out with the wrong people, and they filled him with ideas that are really...'' Struggling with words Darry made a short pause. ''They filled him with very wrong ideas, they... they made Pone hate everything around him, and feel vulnerable. He honestly believed it was your fault that you-that you...''

''But he doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I was drafted! We all know it was really just a matter of time before I got the letter! Hell I wasn't going to school and was already eighteen!'' Replied Sodapop, knowing how it was hard for his brother to say that _he died. _When he never did.

''I know that Sodapop, but Ponyboy was just sixteen.. and well the people around him were not good at all'' rambled Darry ''And we were still not over your d-''

''What?'' Sodapop tried again, making sure to try and make eye contact with Darry.

''I'm not the one telling you this I'm sorry.'' finished Darry and turned around and walked to his house. But instantly regretted his words as soon as he realized the similarities to those words he told his youngest brother twelve years ago.

**ooooooo**

i apologize if it's suckishand short, i just ...

i promise to try my best next chapter, and sure to make it longer

reviews are appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sorry for taking long to update! I didn't know where this story was going, but now I'm sure of it. I appreciate all the nice reviews, they really do make my day! Anyway, hope you like this chapter. We see a little of the mind teen Pony. Don't worry, Adult Ponyboy is coming soon! Thank you!(Ponyboy is sixteen in here)

* * *

The cold night air hung around him, as well as the strong tabacco aroma that filled his lungs and stayed for days on his clothes, no matter how many times they were washed. It's not like he cares anyway, the smell makes him calm, reminding him of the old days. He let out a chuckle. _Old days_, he thought, _they were only two years ago_.

He breathed out, seeing the smoke come out, how it disappeared within seconds. He had been feeling okay these last weeks, he's _used_ to being sad. But he's not sad he's been happy, he's been feeling happy before, he has felt... different.

But he can't help but be a little selfish and hope if someone goes away, it will be him. That way he doesn't have to be sad, he'll feel nothing! _And maybe see his parents again. _It will be him, he knows it.

He becomes scared, he's never safe. Ponyboy remembers thinking how if you're not alone, nothing could happen to you. That's why he was always with someone from the gang, otherwise he'd feel unsafe, nervous... But now he realized something that made him even more unease. Johnny had been with him when the church crashed down, he had been with him when he was dying, Johnny had been with him when he took his last breath and expired.

_I saw Johnny die. I saw someone dead. I saw Dallas get shot. I saw Dallas die._ He realized and felt sick, just as every time as he remembers his friends that now are seven feet under the ground, for the last two years he would feel sad remembering, but now? Hell, he just felt sick. He had accepted they were dead and never coming back. It didn't matter if he missed them, it didn't matter he cried.

They. Were. Dead.

_Oh dear Lord, my brother is dead._ He realized as well, it didn't matter how many days he had known that, as soon as he realized that he became upset with himself, but not anymore, he just felt numb, emotionless, waiting for someting to happen. _I wonder how they look now, are they skeletons? Or there's nothing anymore?_

He had blamed himself for a while, he still does but doesn't say a thing about it anymore. He's tired, just tired.

Everything was doing fine until almost a year ago when Sodapop was drafted, he went to war. And everything went downhill. He _hated_ Darry.

_It was a normal afternoon for him, he had just returned from track practice, wanting nothing but to take a shower and get rid of the dirty sticky sensation the sweat from his body made him feel. He sighed as he opened the door. When he runs, he forgets about his life a little, barely a minute. But he forgets about everything, and it feels nice to him, not to care, it feels nice. But as soon as he walks through the door, as soon as he takes in the messy livingroom, the smell of something cooking in the kitchen he misses his old life and wishes he could forget about it, that he could run away from this life he has now, from this hell he considers home. And then again he feels guilty._

_Guilty because he knows Darry does everything in his power to try and be close to Ponyboy, or atleast make him remember that he's not alone in this, that he's not the only one hurting._

_''Darry? You here?'' He asked from the living room, but his voice loud enough to reach the kitchen, where he assumed his brother was making dinner for the both of them, and Two-Bit if he passes by._

_No one replied._

_Weird. He thought. He should be home by now._

_He walked to livingroom and that's where he saw it. He saw the yellow envelope and his whole world crashed down. And no one was there to get him out of there before it crashed on him._

Turns out both his brpther had known for a while now, but decided to keep it between them, an effort to make Ponyboy hurt less. _Shitty job_ he thought to himself, chuckling with a dark smile that he only did while thinking about stuff that hurt him, knowing better than to cry about it.

Sodapop left two days later, promising him he'd be back and begging Ponyboy to be alright, and to not be mad at Darry.

He had promised himself he'd look tough in front of his brother, as well as hurt... he'd never wished for someone to feel regretful but right then, the night before he thought if he could make Sodapop feel guilty enough then he wouldn't go and he would stay with them, or maybe go to Canada and hide until the war was over.

But as he woke up that morning he'd knew it would be useless, that his brother would go either he was mad at him or not. As soon as he woke up he noticed his brother wasn't next to him and panic rose in his chest. Jumping off the bed and running to the kitchen he saw both his brothers sitting at the table with mugs of coffee in front of them, they looked tired and ten years older. Ponyboy was used to Darry looking older, knowing how much stress he had on his shoulder while taking care of them both and the hard work he did to mantain the house, but Sodapop? Sodapop looked tired, serious and most of all, scared.

He couldn't be mad at his brother knowing this could be the last time he saw him standing them.

Both his brothers raised their heads and Sodapop even smiled, and it was all it took to Ponyboy to run to him and hug him with all his forces, with the tears stinging his eyes as he felt his brothers arms around him.

''_Hey Pone, don't be sad, I promise I'll come back.'' Said Sodapop and separated himself from his brother looking at his brothers face. He was older, taller and his body had become stronger, but he still saw the little boy that followed him around everywhere and looked up to him more than anyone._

_''How do you know that... Sodapop, why can't you just go to Canada? Please don't go, I'll do whatever, I will use my head and.. and I promise-''_

_Sodapop just hugged him. Held his brother in his arms, and even if he was scared out of his mind, he knew he had to be strong for the brother he held in his arms and for the one sitting next to him with tears daring to get out of his eyes but too proud to look up and show, that in fact, Superman didn't exist on earth._

_''I promise I'll be back Pone, just stay in school okay? I'll be back, I promise. Don't drop out.'' Sodapop said and hugged his brother some more, not daring to say his goodbye's yet._

Taking another deep breath with smoke filling his lungs Ponyboy thought about what he was about to do.

Was it worth it? Will he regret it?

''_Can't be worse than this_'' He said to himself and stood up, walked towards the end of the dark street that saw him grow up and become the person he was now. Knowing he'll regret it but can't seem to care at this point, he just wanted _out._


End file.
